Tuesday, July 2, 2013
About those ships that pass in the night
I was in Dalton three months ago for a hearing, and upon arriving, pulled into a McDonald's beside the expressway for coffee before proceeding on to court. My associate goes off to get us coffee; I surreptiously pull out my phone and access the Growlr App. And there, staring at me from the screen of my phone, is the abdomen of Andrew. I went into shock. How long had it been? How long had I beaten myself up over my feelings for him? And we began an exchange of texts: You were inside as I went through the drive thru. To weird!! Nah, not wierd. What's that movie where the two main actors always kept missing meeting one another by minutes? There were quite a few times we didnt miss. And they were wonderful. have you lost weight? Yeah. ...Later ... Saw you peeped on me. Hope you have a good weekend. Jesus, andrew, when have I NOT been captivated by you? Hope you are doing OK. Thank you. I sincerely hope you are too. Uhhh, and I've never peeped on you. Openly stared, but never peeped. I stared at you the first time I saw you. Still remember opening that door. And I'd never seen a man so beautiful in my life. Yeah, I remember it, too. Andrew, I don't know what we're doing here. I don't know why after all this time you and I are suddenly within feet of one another by some twist of fate at the same McDonalds located hudnreds of miles from our respective lives. We both went on with our lives, different paths. Are our hearts stll entwined? mine apparently still is, based on how I'm feeling. And this suddenly is very confusing. Life's very confusing...I dont' try to figure somethings out I just am happy for the blessings I get and have had. Damn auto-correct. Fuck. You're still the best looking man I ever saw. You look happy though, which makes my heart glad. I am but it takes alots of work. hope it gets easier. . . .LATER. . . Still cancer free? She still is. she and Chris are still seeing one another. Why don't you try meeting someone? I've been out on a date or two or three, but there are a lot of passive aggressive assholes out there, or they are self-pitying. Dating sucks. Yeah, fuck Atlanta queens. I've met nothing but insecure totally dishonest nut jobs. i gave up on dating in Atlanta really quick. Thanks for the heads up. .. .. Would enjoy seeing you. That would be nice When would you be passing through. Tomorrow. OK. i will be in Greensboro first thing in the morning but back by 11 Will be down the road by then. wish I had more time. No problem. What was it you told me? Ships that pass? ? We were sitting in a car in that park you liked, talking about your moving on, and you said we were on ships passing one another but we could stll see each other and say hello from the bows of our respecive boats.....But we weren't on the same boat. Just our of curiosity, Andrew, did you ever get that text I sent last july about the intervention my daughters did on me that they knew I was gay, that P was seeing the other guy, and that it was time for me to move and and meet someone else? I did. Well, I never wanted to be on this boat. For better or worse, I wanted to be on yours.